Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
