people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't turn off my feet"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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