what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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