Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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