Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize