You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
