ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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