Can Purell be used as lube?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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