Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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