Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize