wanna go halves on a baby?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
