I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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