Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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