I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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