Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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