I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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