My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
