I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
