I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
