You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
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We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis