She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dating After Heartbreak
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies