Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?