I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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