just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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