His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
