Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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