New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
