we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
