He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
