oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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