Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
