They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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