I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize