wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize