What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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