then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My pussy is not your playground.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
