Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
