So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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