Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
