i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
