you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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