saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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