Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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