sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There r osticjed everywhere
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
