Can Purell be used as lube?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
