The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
cat food counts as protein by the way
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
