So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
