Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
