Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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