he puts the penis in happiness.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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