I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
