Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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