You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
