I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize