I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
