you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
