If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
