Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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