just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think my moral compass just broke
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
