why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
