I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
