I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
