You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
