remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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