i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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