lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My liver just broke up with me...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
