Midget sex pt 2 tonight
only if we run a train.
done.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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