I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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